We took Brenin round to meet Sheeba, Rob and Mary’s new Leonberger pup. Brenin was somewhat less than enthused, mainly because he had been neutered the day before.

Sheeba, stop chewing that towel and let me tell you about the time when I had bollocks.

Ah, my bollocks. They were wonderful. Such happy memories.

You see, Sheeba, you’re a girl. You don’t understand the sadness. Although I appreciate your concern.

OK, so I can look happy. That’s because I am in a paddling pool.

Memory… All alone in the moonlight… I can smile at the old days… I was beautiful then

I AM SHEEBA YOU WILL LOVE ME